Happy Valentines.
I just tried a week long aggravated kidnapping case wherein my client faced a life sentence. You would think after going on 20 years of practicing criminal defense and family law I would get used to seeing serious and violent abuse. I don't.
My client a very intelligent, articulate, and gregarious man when sober, amassed a ten year history of violence and at times methamphetamine induced rage against almost every woman and child he came in contact with relationship wise, yet in almost every instance these women (at least 5 separate women) kept going back to my client again and again for more abuse until each one was eventually hospitalized at the hands of my client.
I honestly understand battered person's syndromes on an intellectual level. There is some scientific validity, but in reality these syndromes were actually created in the early 70's by the clever criminal defense bar in attempting to defend women accused of murdering their spouses. But really on a common sense level I just do not get it. If you are being abused. GET OUT NOW!!!!!
Please stop making excuses for them. The most common excuses for accepting violence that I hear time after time: "well that is just him; he loves me he just looses control when he drinks; I don't have the money." Your spouse screaming at you, berating you, and eventually hitting you or your kids and then apologizing is not love. If your significant other hits you out of anger that is not right. Get help immediately. The First time. They might change but only with professional help. You alone can't fix them because their issues are in all probability deep rooted in their psyche and they need professional help. If they refuse to get counseling then contact a good family lawyer and get yourself and your children out. We can help.
If you know or suspect someone is being abused, do not stand on the sidelines, get them help and get them out. In most cases in my practice a friend or relative is holding the hand of an abused spouse in my office. I take if from there and as a team we get these abuse women and children out. (men can be abused as well don't get me wrong but it is not as frequent).
If you have anger management and/or drug abuse issues get yourself some help now. It is not too late.
My client's life is basically over with a long prison sentence due to overwhelming evidence. His victims although thankfully alive have deep physical and emotional scars to deal with. In addition my client's family members are also devastated.
Just some heartfelt advice from someone who cares about others.
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